Adaobi Chiemelu – “For No Reason”

Sometimes I cry for no reason.
Most times I’m unsteady.
And sad
And lost
And broken
Other times I’m in the moment
Satisfied and hungry
Sometimes I say ‘I miss you’ with no one in mind.
I guess I’m more lost than I imagined.
Sometimes I cry when I pray.
Most times I pronounce myself dead.
I’m alive in only one dimension – a dead-end dimension.
In the pursuit of happiness candy I got broken teeth.
In my love for choicest meals, I have earned decaying gums.
Other times I’m not the one that’s broken
It’s a friend or a sister.
Sometimes I can’t tell that true love never dies.
My heart is a bad musician.
My mind, a disloyal bird
I have nothing.
I am nothing (and yet)
I am…
Most times I just want a chance to say ‘It’s not at all like that.’
See I’ve always preferred love over hate.
I probably should have weighed them both instead (for then)
I would have known how not to love and I may not have ended up loving so wrongly.
Other times I’m not more lost than I’m found:
A prayer was answered, a crack repaired
Every time I’m on a rhetorical ‘Will I be fine?’ and the reply, if one comes, never matters.

Photo by Ricardo Velarde on Unsplash