Adeyinka A. Ayomitide – “Note to all”

These days, I don’t feel much of myself anymore.

I don’t smile like I used to, and I blame no one for that.

I own up to my actions, and that’s all right.

 

These days, I don’t talk as much as I once did, and no, it’s not all right.

I’m done burning bridges and now I’m alone on my island of desolation with no way out.

I have so much to say, so much to share, but I’m on mute.

 

These days, nothing feels like it used to.

The twinkles in my eyes are gone, and now I have bags underneath them.

I’ve gotten pale; perhaps it comes with this phase?

 

I’m not alive; I don’t think this is how to live.

I pick my words carefully these days,

It still doesn’t matter though.

I’m too scared to speak, and that’s not what I want.

 

I’m a caricature of what I once was,

Nothing… 

that’s what it feels like to be me.

I walk in these shoes that weigh me down and I’m tired of them!

I don’t want to live this way.

 

Numb? Yes.

What has become of my emotions these days?

They seem to have abandoned me like I have everything else.

I blame no one for the way I feel these days,

I like to think it’s my fault that this all happened.

 

I’m writing this as a reminder that no one is to be blamed for my abrupt exit.

I had everything and took it all for granted,

Now karma must have its due.

 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash