Eunice Oladeji – “On Depression”

More light has been shed on the issue of depression in recent times. However, more still needs to be done for the depressed; those who are not mere acquaintances with the word but actually ‘live’ the word. Their attempts to make peace with their diagnosis and with the fact that not everyone will understand takes most of them to the very edge of life.

1. Their pills: They are on prescription drugs and/or self-medication to ‘manage’ depression as it has no cure. On the same hand, some are on drugs to escape depression, to have that feeling, albeit temporary, that they are not depressed, to… Be at peace. Depression comes with pills but the line is blurry between pills meant to manage and those meant for escape.

2. Their struggles: “One Last Time” and I will stop this bad habit. I just need to feel the rush of being among, being accepted, being understood, one more time and then, I will retreat to my shell. Depression comes with the temptation to seek validation and peace in things that are better ‘understood’ than depression; Drug addict, womanizer, abuser, drug peddler, alcoholic. So, those masks are put on just so they can be understood, accepted, and seen as ‘okay’.

3. Their pen and their sword: Thanks to social media, many depressed people find peace in letting out their feelings and frustrations and reaching out with hopes of someone reaching out in return. Their tweets, retweets, often point out a pattern that if carefully watched reflects the state of their minds. The “why” questions, the rants about “no one understands” and their annoyance at “antidepressants” are peace-seeking skills. Knowing this is knowing that the option of ending it all, the sword, is right there with their pen.

4. Their solitude: Depression often does not like ‘noise’ which is why some depressed people seek to be alone, withdrawing from friends and family and allowing only regulated noise as is found in music. Their search for peace needs quiet and they cup their ears, raise their eyes, and hope to catch some voice out there telling them everything will be okay.

5. Their ‘upside-down’: With depression, it takes just one little word, one little action or inaction, one thing to either tilt things back aright or make things worse. At first glance, the world sees depressed people as ‘abnormal’, as ‘upside down’, as ‘out of their wits’. But, sometimes, it’s just the wrong perspective and holding the image the wrong way.