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Ifiokobong Etuk – “Diary of an Actor”

A smiling face, a pair of cheerful eyes and enough laughter
Is the mask I wear on the stage of the world’s theater.
I have learned and mastered the very artistic element
Of acting normal under the spotlight for audience amusement.
I am not that smile on my face
I am not that humour I bring to your space
When you ask to know how I fare in life’s journey
The “I’m fine” I reply is not an idle irony
The real me is at the backstage, in my privacy
Away from the spotlight and audience in the company of secrecy
Using my tears to wash my made-up smile that gave my face a fancy color
As I cry over the scars on the reflection I see in my heartbroken mirror.
The calmness I carry is a created camouflage story I tell
To hide the bedlam beating my bleeding soul with a gory tale
In the torture room of the mean memories in my head
Devouring my soul and sleep on the dining table of my bed.
My feigned fulfillment is a mere shield used to cover my soul’s bare platter
For as a soul in the heat of hell craves for a drop of water
My soul craves blindly for a little peace
To heal my depression and mend my heart into one piece.
Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash

3 Comments

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Eruke Stevenreply
May 22, 2020 at 4:48 pm

Really a nice poem. It aptly describes the inner struggles of an “actor”- the very people we thought are living a fulfilling live. Surprising though, everyone is an “actor”. That ” I am fine” when truly we aren’t, qualifies us all as “actor”. Well penned Bard.

Happinessreply
May 22, 2020 at 5:26 pm

This is wow, I love every word it simplicity and also the structure…

A’ishah Aliyureply
May 23, 2020 at 4:57 am

Aren’t we all actors one way or the other? And peace shall your soul receive. A brokenmended heart is a heart so strong that it takes in the arrow shot as a form of strength. Yours words are beautifully written, thanks for sharing Ifiokobong Etuk.

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