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Maryam Dalhatu – “Depression Island”

Depression Island
I left my heritage and followed;
Walking in water, I couldn’t see the depth
I danced in the hungry ocean with my tender self stepping in each…it leads
Laughing at my ignorance for even with its brim filled,
Its thirst for my naiveness was sharp

I followed,
Weakly like the waves that pushed me into it…
Positioning my position
Gradually from the shallow depths, it took to my belly button awaiting me to press the reset button
But no, I kept on playing n playing with heavy pregnancy I wanted to give birth to curiosity

Even with the tides that cried horror with a deafening Halloween voice,
Far away from the dangers the oceans … it scared me
I ignored
Snoring out its coldness as I placed deaf ears to the cries it yelled
Indeed it yelled

For parents came running picking their children one after the other….don’t ask me of mine
For time wouldn’t allow me to go in search maybe it depended on the bitterness I shared on them like lime… I proudly crossed the lines
I crossed all the lines as rushingly I pulled and jumped harder to reach the destination
The ocean laughed higher… yes it had prey to quench another thirst…yet I slowed it down
Something pierced my wrist

A call of glory
Maybe it was the heavens crying me to go back so to retell my story,
To return to myself but then the force in me blew the pain off and sang a lullaby to distract my distractions
Slowly I moved again
Getting closer to my destination

The oceans swallowed my belly attempting to get to my neck,
The tides calmed down,
Cleaning their tears and yelling no more
Ignoring my call and still gave one last try to get me out
It came to my side in a rush

I still stood my ground giving myself to the greedy ocean who grabbed my neck and positioned for my head
Slowly in a push, it was steady as my chin felt its teeth tethering,
To my lips kissing its softness reminding me of moments that tore me
My nose struggled for freedom but what can a messenger do when the master befriends his worst enemy
My eyes surrendered the fight

The coldness came to my eyes making my tears invisible to the face of the world,
My hair floated its divine looks for the last time as every piece of sanity touched my brain
Sparking my sense and resurrecting my faith and emotions emotionally
I left my heritage and followed
No…it cant take me I tried to struggle but its grip grabbed my spine anď pulled me in deep…deeper…to the deepest…

My tears disappeared with the ocean
My screams drowned with the ocean
My lips tried to get free but the ocean’s tight kiss silenced it
The tides spoke to the soul for a heart like mine is a drunkard
Staggering around, heading to an unhealthy pit of doom

In a room it placed my soul, selling it for mints….piece by piece….it floated my divine grace
Raping me off my truth
Dis-virgining my innocence and tieing down my ignorance
I danced in the hungry ocean that was about to use me quench a thirst…
The light came

Sweeping me off its grip in the form of the tides
Fighting a battle for an insignificant person like me
I was washed offshore….drenched with the blood of my tears
The tides kissed hope into me awakening the “she” in her
But indeed a dis-virgined girl has a story to tell

This was what I saw on depression island…

Photo by Ave Calvar on Unsplash

1 Comment

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Jayreply
May 26, 2020 at 8:24 am

Beautiful piece

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